Growing up in a home without affectionate parents can impact adults in unexpected ways.
According to Parade, psychologists have found that when parents don’t show affection toward each other, children often miss out on important lessons about love and relationships, which can shape their adult lives.
Dr. Brett Biller explains that when kids see their parents being caring toward each other, it helps them understand healthy connections, making them feel more secure.
When that affection is missing, though, children may grow up struggling with similar displays in their own relationships.
Dr. Dakari Quimby points out that if children don’t see affection regularly, they may feel awkward when showing it as adults.
Without seeing closeness or trust, these adults might hesitate to form close relationships, fearing emotional discomfort or rejection.
Parade highlights that this lack of affection can also make it harder for adults to talk about their feelings or set boundaries, as they didn’t learn those skills by watching their parents.
Other issues can include difficulty trusting others, feeling emotionally insecure, and sometimes even becoming too independent, says Dr. Quimby.
Some adults raised without affectionate parents also learn to rely heavily on themselves, as they didn’t experience much emotional support growing up.
Parade adds that these adults may even become skilled at adapting to new situations as they work to overcome the challenges of their upbringing.
However, experts agree there are ways to heal. Dr. Biller encourages giving parents grace and recognizing that people show love in different ways. Parade notes that forgiving parents can help heal some of these old wounds, and Dr.
Quimby recommends practicing self-compassion and reminding yourself that your feelings are valid. Seeking therapy can also be a helpful way to work through these feelings and learn new ways to approach relationships and boundaries.
As Parade explains, healing and understanding the impact of childhood experiences can go a long way toward building healthy relationships in adulthood.