12 Traits Adults May Have If Their Parents Divorced When They Were Kids, According to Psychologists
Many people know that about 50% of marriages end in divorce, but the truth is a bit more complicated. Research shows that about 41% of first marriages actually end this way.
Divorce can be especially tough for kids, leaving long-lasting effects on their adult lives, including their romantic relationships.
Dr. Dakari Quimby, a clinical psychologist, explains that divorce can cause emotional pain, which might lead to insecurities and a lack of trust in relationships.
However, it’s not all negative. Dr. Quimby points out that children of divorce can discover strengths they didn’t know they had and learn valuable lessons about adapting to change.
Here are 12 traits that adults may develop if their parents divorced during their childhood:
- Trust Issues: Many children of divorce struggle to trust others as adults. Dr. Michele Goldman explains that uncertainty from their parents’ divorce can make them feel like people are unreliable.
- Fear of Abandonment: This often stems from the instability experienced during their parents’ separation. Adults may constantly worry about partners leaving them.
- Hesitancy with Intimacy: Due to fears of being hurt, they might protect themselves by not getting too close to others, making their relationships less fulfilling.
- Self-Blame and Doubt: Many might feel guilty about their parents’ divorce, questioning if they were somehow to blame, which can lead to self-doubt.
- Overanalyzing Relationships: They may become hyper-aware of relationship dynamics, leading to anxiety and second-guessing in their own relationships.
- Negative Outlook on Relationships: Growing up witnessing a divorce can lead to a pessimistic view of relationships, expecting them to fail.
- Having a “Type”: Adults may find themselves drawn to partners who fulfill certain roles, like someone who cares for them, which can be a coping mechanism.
- Nervousness About Parenting: They might worry about becoming parents themselves, fearing they’ll repeat the cycle of divorce.
- Financial Management Skills: Experiencing financial struggles after their parents’ divorce may help them learn to manage money better in adulthood.
- Independence: Children of divorce often learn to be self-sufficient, but this can sometimes lead to avoiding asking for help.
- Empathy: Navigating difficult emotions can enhance their ability to understand and empathize with others.
- Resilience: Overcoming the challenges of their parents’ divorce can make them more adaptable and strong in facing life’s difficulties.
Healing From Childhood Divorce as an Adult:
- Validate Yourself: It’s important to acknowledge your feelings about your parents’ divorce, no matter how long ago it happened.
- Examine Your Struggles: Reflect on how the divorce still affects you, whether it’s in your relationships with parents, partners, or your own children.
- Find Support: Talking to a therapist can help you understand how the divorce has shaped your life and aid in healing.
Dr. Goldman emphasizes that this introspection can lead to growth and a better understanding of your experiences.
Understanding these traits and how they relate to childhood divorce can be crucial for personal development and healthier relationships in the future.
Remember, everyone’s experience with divorce is unique, and acknowledging these feelings is an important step toward healing.
(Adapted from insights by Dr. Dakari Quimby, Dr. Michele Goldman, and Dr. Holly Schiff, as mentioned by Parade.)
Credit : Parade