The soap opera veteran shared what stopped him from acting on his suicidal thoughts.
General Hospital star Maurice Benard got candid about his mental health struggles in a new interview with People.
In 1985, the experienced actor on soap operas was told he had bipolar disorder. This means he sometimes feels very high and energetic, and other times very low and sad. That year, he had a two-week period where he acted in a way that was not like himself. He got very angry and even hurtful towards his mother. It was so bad that his parents had to call the police for help.
“My dad’s crying; my mom’s crying, but the cops couldn’t do anything because I became normal,” he said. “And then the next morning, they took me to the mental institution.”
His experience of being institutionalized was traumatic.
Going to a place where he had to stay for a while because of his condition was very upsetting and scary for him.
“It was just really scary in there,” he said. “I was tied down from my wrist, my waist and my ankles. And all I wanted to do was escape the whole time I was there. ‘Get me outta here! Get me outta here! Get me out!’ They didn’t know what I had for about a month, maybe two months.”
Benard also noted that during the lockdown period of the pandemic, his struggles with his bipolar disorder led to him having suicidal thoughts.
“I thought about it every day,” he admitted.
When he was talking to people online about his book, he really wanted to tell them how he was feeling back then. He wished he could say, “I feel like I might not make it. Can someone please help me?”
Though he had suicidal ideations, he did “everything that [he] possibly could to survive.”
Benard recounted the realization that stopped him from taking his life.
He recalled: “I ran to my house, and as I walked in, I said, ‘God, you gotta help me now because I can’t do it anymore.’ And I remember thinking of my family. And then I remember thinking, ‘If I did [kill myself], then it would give everybody who watches [his mental health podcast] State of Mind the green light to do it too.'”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org
SOURCE:PARADE